


Chicken

by Bloodyloveletters



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, Mutual Pining, some poorly written smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 22:15:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14342067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bloodyloveletters/pseuds/Bloodyloveletters
Summary: The principle of the game of Chicken is that while either player prefers not to yield to each other, the outcome where neither player yields is the worst possible outcome for both players.When Shane finds a new thing to tease Ryan over, he thinks it will be harmless. But it ends up changing their friendship forever.





	Chicken

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a short one-shot to celebrate 100 followers on Tumblr but its ended up 9k
> 
> Completely unbetaed and maybe a mess

Ryan held tightly onto the beer bottles in his hand. He blew out a deep breath as he approached Shane, who sat on his own in a booth in the noisy bar, and sat down opposite him.

“You alright then? What did you wanna talk about?” Shane looked concerned, taking a small sip of his drink.

“It’s nothing to worry about, it’s just, something I wanted to tell you,” Ryan fiddled with the label of his bottle.

“Go ahead,” Shane tried to look encouraging. Ryan sighed and looked at Shane properly now.

“I just, I’ve been thinking a lot, about everything, and I just need to tell you now, what I’ve been thinking about,” he took another swallow of beer, “Like you’re my best friend and honestly, I’m so glad I’ve gotten to work with you because our friendship means a lot to me and that’s why I want to talk to you about this,”

“C’mon on, man, you’re making me nervous,” Shane said with a laugh, but honestly he was a bit nervous. What could this be about?

“I’m bi,” Ryan said all of a sudden. He did have a whole speech planned but to be honest he was just relieved he’d said it.

“Oh, congrats, man!” Shane was genuinely really pleased for his friend (and relieved it wasn’t something much worse). He grinned at Ryan and gave him an encouraging pat on the arm.

“Well, basically, I’ve known for a while now and my mom and brother know. But I haven’t told anyone at Buzzfeed yet but I’m telling you first because like, you’re my best friend. And I hope this isn’t too weird for you and it doesn’t affect our friendship-” Ryan began to defend his sexuality but Shane cut him off.

“Don’t worry about all that. Me too, dude,” he said cheerily. Ryan just looked confused so he clarified, “I’m also bi so I’m not gonna fuck you off because I’m a homophobe or anything.”

“Oh,” Ryan laughed, “I never knew.”

“It never came up,” Shane just smiled.

 

 

As they chatted, the subject changes to Shane’s new ideas for Ruining History and the awkwardness fades away. It’s not until a couple of drinks later that Shane brings it up again.

“Wait, so if you’re not straight, why are all the ‘no homo’ bullshit when we’re out filming?” Shane asked, narrowing his eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“You know, dude. The pillow wall you put up if we share a bed on trips, the panic attack you nearly had that one time in New Orleans when we filmed in the bath, the time you walked round in a short sleeve shirt on a freezing set and wouldn’t borrow my coat ‘cause you split coffee on yourself.”

“Hey! That’s not straight bro behaviour. I could hardly wear your coat while filming, I’d look like a child who’d stole an adult’s clothes because you’re so long. And I was only nervous in the bath in the Dauphine Hotel because it was fucking haunted!”

“And the pillows,” Shane pushed, although he was mostly just teasing at this point because Ryan had got so defensive.

“I don’t know, I didn’t think that was that bad,” Ryan looked sheepish as he added this. All of a sudden, a mischievous grin spread across Shane’s face. This face meant what it always did - he’d found a new way to tease Ryan.

“So if it’s not because you’re straight, it must be because you’re not. And something about sharing a bed with me must make you uncomfortable,” Shane looked thoughtful for a moment, although Ryan knew he was just trying to mess with him and sat waiting for the punchline. After a moment, Shane widened his eyes and looked at Ryan in mock-surprise, “Do you have a crush on me, Ryan?”

“No,” Ryan said simply, “You’re probably the last person I’d have a crush on.”

“You say that, but why else would you need to make a barrier between us? Do you not trust yourself around me, is that it?” he was laughing under his faux-serious tone.

“I definitely fucking trust myself not to try anything on with you, Shane,” Ryan was laughing too now.

“I’m not so sure. I think you’d jump at the chance to get a piece of this,” he gestured to himself and raised his eyebrows at Ryan who was uncontrollably giggling now.

“Nah, man, I reckon you have a crush on me,” he said still wheezing from laughter.

“Oh yeah, Bergara?” Shane said, “You think I’d go for a short little twat like you?”

“Yeah I do think so,” Ryan finished his drink off.

“You hope so,” Shane had put on his arguing-with-Ryan voice, “Look, if you don’t have a crush on me, then well, you won’t have any issue resisting my charms.”

“And you won’t have any trouble resisting mine,” Ryan laughed but he felt fired up in the same way he did for every other fight they had.

“My uber’s here, dude, so I’m off,” Shane was looking at his phone, “Dream of me,”

“No chance,” he got up, giving Shane one armed hug as he made his way towards the door.

“And Ry,” Shane looked back theatrically - under different circumstances Ryan would probably have made fun of him for it. He gave Ryan a look that must’ve been the look he actually used on the men and women he chatted up, all intense eyes and smirking, “Don’t fall in love with me.”

“Shut up, Shane.”

 

 

The next day at work was normal. Shane was writing a script for an upcoming Ruining History episode and Ryan was busy editing the last episode of that season of True Crime. When Shane looked up, Ryan had spaced out and clearly wasn’t working. Shane smiled to himself.

“Ryan!” he said suddenly. Ryan jumped in response.

“What d’you want?” he removed his headphones.

“Just wondering what you’re thinking about,” Shane asked innocently.

“Nothing,” Ryan rubbed his eyes, looking like he really had woken up from a deep sleep.

“Was it me? You can admit it, our conversation last night, it ignited something,” Shane was practically gleeful with this new game he’d invented for himself

“No, I wasn’t thinking about you,” Ryan said with a look somewhere between poisonous and tired.

“You can tell me, I won’t judge you.” He mimed flipping long hair over his shoulder, “I can’t exactly blame you.”  
Ryan ignored him, walking towards the kitchen.

“Get me a coffee, yeah?” Shane smirked as Ryan flipped him off over his shoulder.

Nonetheless, Ryan returned a few minutes later with two coffees in hand. He placed his at his desk and then walked over to Shane’s. Before Shane could say anything, he grabbed his office chair, pulled it out and spun him round to face him. His hand was still on the back of Shane’s chair as he leant down, face far too close, lips slightly parted. He looked him dead in the eye as he handed him his coffee. He didn’t move for a second, smiling at Shane’s shocked silence.

“Don’t get flustered now, Shane. People might think you have a crush on me,” Ryan said quietly before returning to his desk. Shane was unusually hard-working for the rest of the day.

 

 

Shane Madej was scheming. He didn’t appreciate Ryan trying to take control of his joke. At all. It wasn’t that he thought there wasn’t anything to it. He definitely didn’t have a crush on Ryan and he didn’t think Ryan had a crush on him either. But it felt like one of their little competitions now and therefore he had to win. But how? He knew he wouldn’t get Ryan to admit he had a crush on him, but maybe he could just one-up him until Ryan wouldn’t push it any further. Ryan had tried to force him to back down with his little show, maybe he could top that. And then Ryan wouldn’t dare take it any further, surely.

 

 

It was office drinks later that week when Shane first got his chance. It was a warm evening and they’d all steadily wandered down to the nearest bar. Ryan was already sat at a picnic table opposite Jen in a trendy outdoor seating area lit by strings of lightbulbs overhead. Shane slid up sit next to Ryan, giving him a small smile. They hadn’t talked about their little argument since the office chair incident so Ryan probably thought he’d won. Shane tried not to feel too excited at the prospect of competitively seducing his best friend. Steve and Andrew came and sat down with them and began talking animatedly about… something or other. Shane had stopped paying attention. Everyone laughed and so he did and he ever so subtly moved his hand from his knee to Ryan’s. He felt the muscles in Ryan’s leg tense up.

“What are you doing?” Ryan whispered, mostly just confused. The rest of the group continued chatting.

“Does it bother you? I know you have some thoughts about me that make you uncomfortable,” Shane raised an eyebrow at him and Ryan immediately understood what was going on.

“No, this is fine,” Ryan plastered an absent smile on his face.

They rejoined the chatter but Shane couldn’t focus. Could Ryan tell his hand was sweating? Shit okay, if Ryan just sits here completely alright with this, this is a big loss for him. He just grabbed his mate’s thigh for no reason. That definitely hinted to him having a crush on Ryan, not the other way round. Shit, okay, he said he was going to push it, so that’s what he’d committed to now. He gradually slid his hand up Ryan’s thigh. Okay he could feel Ryan squirm now. He glanced to his left, eyeing Ryan’s flushed neck.

“Shane, I can’t believe you’re just letting Ryan get away with this ghost talk,” Steven punching Shane lightly on the arm.

“What? Sorry?” Shane felt like he was coming back from about 200 miles away. He was suddenly aware that Ryan was grinning at him.

“Pay attention, mate, Ryan is really fucking you,” Fuck this, his plan had failed.

“I don’t even see the point of arguing with him anymore, he’s delusional,” He dug his fingers in hard as he spoke. Ryan yelped, and then stood up unexpectedly, forcing Shane’s hand to drop.

“Me and Shane are gonna get another round, aren’t we?” he grabbed Shane by the collar.

“Uh, yeah. We are,” Shane managed to supply, before getting dragged off.

The others only looked mildly confused before continuing chatting.

 

 

Shane was shoved roughly behind a wall once they were out of sight of their friends. Ryan stood close and speaking loudly over the noise of the bar.

“Okay, let’s get one thing straight, Shane. This is a game now, and I’m gonna win,” Ryan said as he jabbed a finger into the centre of the taller man’s chest.

“Oh if you say so,” Shane was beginning to regain the composure he clearly lost back there.

“Shane, mate, you just zoned out from touching my thigh. This is gonna be easy,” Ryan looked pleased with himself. Shit, it was annoying when Ryan looked pleased with himself like that. He felt a burning need to wipe that look of his smug little face. Okay, it’s like chicken now. He could do chicken.

He smirked at the man in front of him and then leant down, his lips centimetres from Ryan’s ear as he spoke in a low tone, “Ry, that was just the beginning. The things I could do to do, where I’d put my hands… well it would make you blush,” he could feel the heat in Ryan’s face he was so close to him, “which it looks like you’re doing already.”  
Ryan pushed him away angrily and stalked the rest of the way to the bar to pick up more beers.

 

 

The boys didn’t see each other over the weekend but neither had forgotten what had happened on Friday night. They were both naturally competitive and even more so when it came to each other, so when Ryan arrived at work he didn’t think for a moment that this would just go away on its own. And he didn’t want it to either. He felt like he had the upper hand at the moment and was gonna take advantage of it. The air was tense between them all day, although neither made a move until later that afternoon. Shane was in the little kitchen making himself a tea when Ryan walked in behind him.

“Look who it is,” Ryan said in a low tone. Shane turned to face him, holding his little refillable mug.

“Oh, hello Ryan. Come to play with me, have you?” Shane looked him up and down slowly.

“You’d like that,” Ryan walked towards him slowly, standing much closer than he normally would.

“It’s you who’s so excited about this little game of yours. Suggests to me that there might be some reason you’re so desperate to take this to the next level,” he grabbed Ryan by the waist pulled him so he was leaning against his body. The move clearly shocked Ryan but he just about recovered.

“And yet you can’t keep your hands off me,” the look he gave Shane walked the line between a gaze and a glare.

“Awakening any feelings yet, Ry?” he said as he reached up and place a large hand on the side of Ryan’s neck, dragging it up to his cheek as he spoke, “Sure there’s nothing there?”

Ryan shivered. Shit, he didn’t mean to do that. It was breezy in here, that’s why. Shane must’ve noticed though, that was going to work against him. Ah fuck how did Shane manage to look so intensely at him? How long had they been stood there like this? He needed to get out of here, pulling away from Shane and leaving the kitchen without looking back.

 

 

Shane grinned. Okay, he was back on his game. That move had the little guy even more flustered than he’d expected. He returned to his desk to find that Ryan wasn’t at his. He assumed he hadn’t gotten lost. Wow, was he really so effective that he couldn’t face him? This might be easier than he thought. But at just that moment, Ryan came swanning back into the office. He’d changed into that almost sheer white t-shirt from that Try Guys video they’d done last year. He must’ve been down to wardrobe to find it. Goddamn, did he know?

“Hi, Shane,” Ryan smiled at him with an evil glint in his eye. Oh, he fucking knew.

“You’ve changed,” Shane swallowed, his eyes following Ryan like tracking beams.

“I’ve changed,” instead of going to sit down, he leant casually against Shane’s desk. The whole office was watching over their computer screens.

“Why have you changed?” Shane turned his chair to face Ryan, locking onto his eyes, resisting the urge look any lower.

“Spilt something on my shirt, needed to get another one from wardrobe,” he plucked at the shirt and Shane’s eyes darted down, “Just found this.”

“Yeah, well, okay,” Shane licked his lips. His eyes had shamelessly started to rove over Ryan’s basically exposed chest. Ryan burned under his hungry vision. Okay maybe this was working a little too well. When he stepped away and returned to his desk, Shane looking visibly deflated.

 

 

The rest of the day was tense. The office began to steadily empty. It was almost completely empty when Shane stood up. He didn’t say goodbye to Ryan, knocking into his desk chair roughly as he passed. Ryan smiled to himself. Maybe he’d won. He finished up the video he was working on, and went to the elevator. Instead of going downstairs to the foyer, however, he went upstairs, back to wardrobe to return the shirt. He glanced at himself in the reflective surface in the elevator doors. He did look pretty damn good in this shirt. The doors slid open and he walked through the doors into the wardrobe room.

“Hi Ryan,” Shane was sat alone in the deserted room.

“What are you doing here?” Ryan dropped his bag by his feet, but didn’t make any move to collect his shirt from before.

“You know why I’m here,” his voice was low and rough. He crossed the room in a few steps and grabbed Ryan by the waist. Ryan took a sharp breath in as Shane looked down at him darkly, “That shirt, Ryan. You worked it out,”

“I remembered how tense it’d been after we filmed that video. I didn’t realise at the time, but it seems I was right,” he was flushed under Shane’s intense glare. He tried to keep his tone light, “Does that mean I win?”

“No way, maybe I am attracted to you, a little. You can hardly blame me, you’re a good-looking man, Bergara, but I don’t have a crush on you. And I only have to prove you have one on me” Shane bent down, grazing his lips down Ryan’s neck.

Ryan shivered again. Fuck he needed to stop doing that. Shane definitely did notice this time, taking it as encouragement. He kissed the side of his neck, chuckling as he heard Ryan’s breath catch in his neck. He moved his mouth downwards, sucking hard with each kiss. Ryan wanted to act like this was nothing, wanted desperately to politely push Shane away and give him a quiet look of satisfaction but that wasn’t all he wanted. He wanted Shane to never stop kissing him like that. He was stuck between the two, frozen under Shane’s possessive touch. Shane had made his way down to his collarbone and began sucking on it hard, teeth dragging over the skin. Ryan knew he was trying to leave a mark and that thought pushed him to make a decision. He grabbed Shane by the waist, who was by running his hands up the fabric of the $85 shirt, and pulled him close. He moaned into Shane’s hair as he bit down harder and harder. Fuck fuck fuck he was really losing this one. As if he’d heard his thoughts, Shane broke away. He looked disheveled and his eyes wild and Ryan didn’t like the feeling that gave him in the pit of his stomach.

“Do you concede?” his voice was breathless as he looked down at Ryan.

“I don’t have a crush on you, Shane,” he forced himself to make eye contact.

“Well, you will,” and with that he walked away, turning at the door, “Go home, Ryan,”

“You waiting for a show?” Ryan looked at Shane, who didn’t move. Well he’s gonna get one. Ryan pulled the shirt off over his head, tensing a little as he did so. Shane watched hungrily as Ryan buttoned up his own shirt, and then left without a word.

 

 

Ryan bumped into Jen on the way into work the next morning. They got chatting and she wasted no time to ask what the whole office were wondering.

“So what’s going on with you and Shane?” Jen said.

“Right. It’s stupid really, but he started joking the other day, about me having a crush on him, and we’ve ended up in this stupid game of chicken trying to prove we fancy each other,” he looked sheepish, but was glad to be able to share this with Jen, to be honest.

“Oh, Ryan. That’s not gonna end well,” Jen looked at him, clearly concerned.

“It hasn’t started well,” he glanced around the street for nosy passers-by and then pulled back his shirt to show the deep purple bruise Shane had sucked there.

“Shit man!” Jen eye’s were wide, “Do you have a crush on him, Ryan? ‘Cause that isn’t something friends and colleagues generally do to each other.”

Ryan hesitated for a second. He didn’t have a crush on Shane, did he? No, he was just reacting, completely understandably, to physical stimulus. It wasn’t about Shane, it was just about being kissed, “Er, I mean… Probably no, but...”

He trailed off and Jen gave him a knowing look.

“And what about him?”

“He says he doesn’t, but I don’t know,” he held the door into the office open for her. What if he did? Would it affect their work? I mean, if they kept making out in the office, that definitely could.

 

 

Shane fiddled nervously with the cuffs of his sleeves. This pink shirt was definitely the one he looked best in, and after the show Ryan had put on for him, he wanted to do the same. He wasn’t as classically fit as Ryan, sure, but he was pretty and looked good in an open neck shirt. Ryan was already sat down when he arrived. He didn’t look up from the script he was writing.

“Morning, Ryan,” he lingered stood up before sitting down.

“Morning,” Ryan supplied absently. He still didn’t look up. Shane sat down in a sulk. He’d just wait. He opened the footage he was working on, looking away from Ryan.

About 2 and a half hours later, Ryan talk off his headphones and pushed away from his desk. He let out a long breath and ran his hand through his hair. Shane’s annoyance softened. He was clearly stressed about the new series of Supernatural. They were filming again next week and he must’ve redrafted that script four times now.

“Want a cup of tea?” Shane gave Ryan a small smile.  
Ryan looked at him like he’d offered him life raft. Damn, he must be stressed.

Shane returned with two cups of tea in disposable cups, pulling his chair to sit across from Ryan.

“You know you’re good at this, don’t you? Like you stress so much about making Unsolved successful when it already is. You’re doing a good job,” Shane offered warmly.

“I know it’s going well, but that just adds to the pressure. Everyone is relying on me to deliver something good,” he sighed, but was looking more content now after a few sips of his drink.

“You’re great, Ry,” he reached out and placed a hand on his knee. This sort of casual touching wasn’t anything new to them, they’d been friends for years. But after last night, something had changed. Shane felt a odd jolt inside him. Ryan made eye contact again, clearly also feeling the tension. Ryan glanced down now. Finally.

“You wearing that for me?” he smiled despite himself.

“Maybe,” Shane grinned. He felt like he’d been doing that a lot lately.

“Needs another button, if you really want me drooling,” he was only partly joking, and couldn’t take his eyes away as Shane popped a second button, “And another.”

“Another? Little inappropriate for a workplace like this,” Shane’s teasing voice needled at Ryan as always.

“You’ve had more than that undone before,” Ryan reached forward and unbuttoned the next two buttons on Shane’s shirt, not failing to notice the rate of Shane’s breathing rising steadily as his fingers lingered on his shirt, “Believe me, I’ve noticed.”

Shane gave him an intense before rolling back to his desk on his chair. It was probably for the best. This was a respectable workplace after all.

 

 

Ryan was still working well past 5. Shane didn’t have anything else to do, but he wanted to make sure Ryan went home. Besides anything, they were going to a location tomorrow and he was always so much more scared when he was tired. By half 5 the office was empty and Shane approached him cautiously.

“You ready to go yet?” Shane said, placing his hands on Ryan’s shoulders.

“Yeah, in a minute,” Ryan sighed and Shane felt the tension in his shoulders. Eh, why not? He dug his fingers in, massaging Ryan’s shoulders. The reaction was almost instant. Ryan felt like he was melting, his eyes closed and his head lolled back. Shane’s hands were strong and he didn’t hold back, pressing fingers into a muscular back. The soft moan that slipped from Ryan’s lips went through him like a bolt of lightning. Fuck this game wasn’t as funny anymore. He was starting to think he might lose altogether. Three days ago he would’ve sworn on the lives of everyone he loved that he didn’t have a crush on Ryan but now, not so much. Fuck.

“You okay, mate?” Ryan interrupted his thoughts, turning his chair around.

“Yeah, just tired I guess,” Shane turned to collect his stuff as Ryan did the same.

“Me too, let’s go,” they walked together to the lift. Ryan gave Shane a quirk of the eyebrow before adding, “Thanks, by the way,”

The elevator ride was tense and silent, partly because Ryan was lost in the thought of what Shane’s surprisingly skilled hands would feel like elsewhere on his body and Shane was wondering what Ryan would do if he pressed him up against the wall and kissed him right now.

 

 

They met the next morning in the car park just after dawn. The rest of the crew were already there, packing up the car. It was far too early for tension and they both just clutched coffee cups as they sat in the car. They had to be off early in order to do some shooting before it went dark and the drive was long and fairly quiet. The interviews went well. The current owner of the house they were investigating was funny and came across well on camera - her stories seemed a little theatrical for Shane to be convinced but it would go down well with the viewers. It was going well, but Ryan still looked like a nervous wreck by the time night fell and they arrived at the location.

“Chill the fuck out, man,” Shane laughed, “Nothing here can hurt you.”

“You don’t know that, Shane. There’s been plenty of reports of these spirits physically interacting with intruders and even throwing things,” his hands shook on the camera as usual.

“Yeah, well I’ll look after you,” it had meant to be a joke but it sounded very sincere as the words left his mouth.

The location was as bone-chilling as it always was to Shane. That is to say, not chilling at all. But something about the draughty windows and creaky floorboards was affecting Ryan deeply. The cameras were rolling now and they were back to their usual banterous dynamic. They’d only been filming for about 10 minutes when a bird flew into the window from outside, or at least that’s what Shane heard. Ryan heard something life-threatening and supernatural, on the other hand. He jumped around his own height into the air, and usual, and grabbed Shane’s hand, as not usual. Shane tried not to react to this out loud, knowing they would have to cut round it for the episode, but his voice probably sounded shakier than normal when he spoke.

“Fucking hell, I’ve never seen you jump so high,”

“Yeah well surprisingly, Shane, I’m a little tense and that bird made me jump,” Ryan’s indignant nature was overpowering his fear as always.

“So you do admit that was a bird then?”

“Yes that was a bird.”

“Great, finally something we can agree on,” he gave Ryan a wink and dropped his hand before moving into the next room.

 

 

Ryan was shaking by the time it got to the lock in. He was going to stay in the bathroom, where all three suicides associated with the house had occurred, alone for 3 minutes with the spirit box. He closed the door and heard Shane starting the timer, so he turned on the spirit box. The loud static filled the room, making it just a fraction less scary.

“Is there anyone here?” his voice wasn’t more than a tremble.

 _Me_ the spirit box seemed to reply.

“Hello, can you tell me your name?”

 _It hurts_ (or ishchurch as Shane would later claim it said) came out next in a woman’s voice.

“Hey, is it Jane? Are you there, Jane?” Ryan’s head was spinning, it felt like he might faint from fear but he steadied himself. Do it for the Boogaras, we need proof.

After a moment of static, the box said _get out_ (or gitter according to Shane).

Fuck okay that was enough for Ryan, he could hear Shane calling that his time was out and barrelled out of the room and grabbed Shane, wrapping his arms around him tightly. Shane was taken aback - Ryan never hugged him like this. It was always a bro hug with a slap on the back. Something must’ve really scared him.

“There was definitely someone in there, they spoke with me Shane,” he nodded fervently.

“I can’t wait to see the footage,” he reluctantly let go of Ryan for his turn in the bathroom. His attempt was significantly less eventful.

 

 

They got back to the hotel late and as usual, Ryan was practically euphoric to be off site. Wide awake, with no bars open in this fairly residential area, Ryan and the rest of the crew piled into Shane’s room for a night cap. It was fun but eventually everyone went back to their rooms. Everyone except Ryan.

“Night gents,” TJ said as he closed the door to Shane’s room. The air in the little, blandly decorated hotel room was humming from the moment they were alone. They were alone. Shane resisted the urge to think finally.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Ryan said, staring across the room towards Shane, who was sat on his bed.

“Nothing. This is my room. I’m waiting for you to leave,” he pursed his lips. The urge to beat Ryan at this stupid fucking game just about overwhelmed his desire to see what that stupid little mouth would feel like round his cock. Oh dear god enough of that thought. He needed to get himself together.

“Aw, c’mon Shane. You know what this is, concede the game and I don’t have to go back to my room yet,” he said each word carefully, each one dripping in implied meaning, “I didn’t wait around here for the others to leave just for you to keep your pride.”

“It’s not pride, I’m just not that desperate to fuck you,” even as his said it, his eyes drifted slowly down Ryan’s body, betraying him a little. Ryan’s smile told him he’d noticed, “Unlike you.” God why was he still trying to provoke him? This wasn’t the time.

Ryan stood up and crossed the room. Wordlessly, he climbed onto Shane’s bed and straddled him. Arousal spread through Shane’s body as Ryan looked hungrily into his eyes.

“Look, I’m not going to say you win, because I quite clearly win, since you are too scared to touch me now for fear of what you might do. But I will give you that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that night in the wardrobe department,” he pulled back the t-shirt he was wearing to show Shane the mark he’d left, “You saying this was just the game?”

“Ryan, I don’t have a crush on you,” a voice in Shane’s head just said liar. That was a worrying sign. He needed to keep the upper-hand here, he couldn’t have Ryan suspecting this crush was real.

“Okay fine, me neither,” Ryan looked a bit frustrated at this point, he clearly had expected Shane to react straight away, “Will you just kiss me now?”

“If you wanna kiss me, just do it yourself,” Okay, he had a plan. Annoy Ryan until he leaves, don’t fuck him, he won’t realise.

“No, I came over here and sat on you, you’ve got to some of the work yourself,” Ryan sounded definitely pissed off that time rather than seductive, “You obviously want to, dude. You’re actually gripping my thighs and you’ve barely been still for a second since I did this,” he gestured vaguely at their interlocked bodies.

“Kiss me if you wanna kiss me,” Shane let his hands drop from Ryan and locked his fingers together behind his head, faining relaxation.

“No, you’ve got to kiss me,”

“Why?” Shane smiled at how infuriated Ryan looked. This might just work.

“It feels like losing,” he huffed and crossed his arms.

“Ah, so there we go. I think we may have stumbled onto the next round of his little game of Chicken we’ve been playing. You want me, I want you. See who caves and kisses the other first, yeah?” Shane smiled outwardly, but inwardly cursed himself. Why was he making this into another game he’ll lose? He was fucked if Ryan even so much cupped the side of his face at this point, “Now off to bed, we start tomorrow,” he patted Ryan on the thigh, trying to appear nonchalant.

He was happy to see Ryan looked disappointed to be leaving so soon.

 

 

They travelled back early the next morning. The others seemed to notice something was up, so when they pulled up a roadside diner for breakfast, TJ hung back with Shane.

“Is anything okay with Ryan, do you know?” TJ said quietly, looking at Ryan just ahead of them in the parking lot, “He’s been quiet since this morning.”

The sight of Ryan straddling him flashed before his eyes, “Everything is fine as far as I know.”

“He was extra… nervous last night,” TJ looked questioning. So he’d noticed Ryan being touchy with him, too.

“I’ll have a word with him, Teeg,” Shane said, and that seemed good enough to TJ as they walked in silence the rest of the way, sitting down in a booth with the others.

 

 

The group chattered amicably over their breakfast and soon any tension between Ryan and Shane seemed to melt away. With the cloak of the others there, they laughed and joked as they had on every previous trip, but Shane couldn't help but feel that Ryan was probably sitting a lot closer to him than he normally would - the side of his thigh was pressed up against Shane's and their arms brushed together as they ate. It wasn't uncomfortable, but Shane couldn't help but feel it was suggestive. It definitely got suggestive when Ryan lightly brushed his fingers up Shane's thigh under the table. The subtle touches only became less subtle as they ate and by the time the table had been cleared, Ryan had managed to hook his foot round the back of Shane's ankle and pull his legs apart so Ryan could rest his hand there. Shane’s mind had been racing since he first touched him and he wasn't about to sit in a hot car with him for another 5 hours without saying something. He decided that Ryan needed to be taken down a peg or two.

 

 

They paid, keeping the receipt for expenses (it paid to have such a successful show with BuzzFeed as it turned out). Ryan got up and crossed to the bathroom as the others left to the car. He was pleased with himself, he'd been feeling up Shane for the whole meal and now he'd have to sit next to him in the car the rest of the drive home. It was certainly a sly satisfaction but he didn't deny himself it. He went the toilet and was washing his hands when the door opened behind him. Shane walked straight up to him, crowding him against the sink.

“What was all that?” he looked angry but also sort of turned on and to be honest Ryan was into it.

“Me playing Chicken,” he innocently up at Shane but the other man continued to glare. Fuck, that was hot. He felt a heat glowing in him.

“Well, this-” he stopped and lifted Ryan onto the sink behind him. He stood between his legs pushing up against him- “is me playing.”

Ryan shifted, uncomfortable with the taps digging into his back, but as he moved he felt Shane's dick, hard in his jeans. Fuck fuck fuck the thought of that went through him and now, look at that, so was he. Shane could probably tell as well, they were so close. Their faces were centimetres apart and he could feel Shane's steady breaths ghosting against his lips. They were frozen there for what felt like millennia until Ryan came to his senses and shoved Shane away.

“What the fuck, man? We've got a car ride now,” Ryan laughed breathlessly. It was pretty funny, that all this was happening with Shane of all people.

“Yeah which is why I wanted you to suffer with me,” he ran his hands through his hair in the mirror a few times, before heading towards the door, “See you in the car, once you've recovered.”

“Fuck off, Shane,” came the response.

They made it the rest of the way home uneventfully.

 

 

[Received 10:25]  
Shane: You look good in that shirt

The text came the next day as Ryan was stood in the meeting area talking to Steven. The office was open plan and when he looked around he could see Shane wink at him over his monitor.

[Received 10:26]  
Shane: You’d look better without it

[Sent 10:26]  
Ryan: well unfortunately for you i’m not gonna get naked in the office

[Received 10:27]  
Shane: You’ve done it for plenty of videos

Ryan huffed and went to put away his phone as it vibrated again.

[Received 10:27]  
Shane: Some of your best work

[Sent 10:27]  
Ryan: shut up

 

 

It was drinks again that night. Shane had been bored all day and jumped at the chance of a night out. Ryan, however, hesitated. He was tired - he’d had a busy day getting the first supernatural episode of the series up. And more importantly, he didn’t really want to see Shane. It wasn’t as though he hadn’t been enjoying their little games over the last week, because he had. Like he really had. And that was the problem, he really really had. He couldn’t stop thinking about him, not since they’d filmed together. He needed to get this crush under control. Because that’s what it was, he was willing to admit to himself now, he was crushing on Shane Madej. It was a stupid thought, the thought of a 12 year, not a man pushing 28, but it was what Shane kept calling it and he wasn’t wrong. Goddamn, why wasn’t he wrong? He was always wrong about ghosts and bears and pickles in ponds. Why not this? He left the office in a bit of a sulk. A lot of the gang were already down the road drinking, so he just went home and sat in his apartment. At least he didn’t have to see Shane’s stupid face at home. Maybe the distance would make it better.

[Received 18:21]  
Shane: Aren't you coming out?

[Received 20:03]  
Shane: You should've come out

Ryan looked at his phone again and then locked it immediately.

[Received 20:04]  
Shane: You can still come, we’re in that place near yours

[Received 20:04]  
Shane: Come out

Ryan picked up his phone and typed a reply.

[Sent 20:06]  
Ryan: no

 

 

“What’s up with you?” Maycie rejoined Shane around a little bar table, “You look devastated.”

“What? No, I’m fine,” Shane subtly tried to put his phone back in his jacket pocket but she noticed.

“This isn’t about Ryan not being out, is it?” she laughed, clearly not realising the truth of the statement.

“No! God no, are you kidding? I can go one night without him, Maycie.” Shane said, definitely overdoing his protests.

“Oh my god, it is,” She looked at him with wide eyes, “Why isn’t he out tonight anyway? He never misses an opportunity to get drunk.”

Shane sighed before continuing. He guessed he could tell Maycie, and he really did need to share what was happening with someone or he might go mad.

“I started teasing Ryan that he might have a crush on me, and then we started playing this weird game of chicken and now I may have actually started to see him as more than a friend in the process,” he spoke quickly, just trying to get all the words out, “And now he isn’t coming out because I’ve freaked him out and I’ve fucked everything up and we’ll never be like we were.”

“Shane,” she stared at him, clearly at a total loss. A surprisingly long time passed before she raised her eyebrows at him, “Shots?”

He laughed nervously, and followed her to the bar where the Try Guys were all waiting. A few rounds later and suddenly Shane was less worried about his feelings towards Ryan. Maybe alcohol was the answer.

 

 

The pictures blurred on the screen but Ryan wasn’t paying attention, although he had had a few beers. He played with his phone, passing it from hand to hand staring blanking at the wall above the TV.

[Received 22:31]  
Shane: You should’ve come!!!

[Sent 22:32]  
Ryan: had a good time?

[Received 22:32]  
Shane: Wouldve been better with you

[Received 22:33]  
Shane: And you definitely wouldve had a good time

[Sent 22:34]  
Ryan: what do you mean?

[Received 22:34]  
Shane: Just saying i’m definitely too drunk to make good decisions tonight

Ryan got a snapchat notification then, going to open it. His phone showed a selfie video of Shane doing a shot of what was probably tequila. Ryan didn’t fail to notice Shane’s outstretched throat or the way his eyes crinkled at the corners at the burn afterwards. He sent back a video of him tipping back his head and lifting his beer bottle with his teeth. He knew exactly what he was doing when he tightened his lips around the neck of the bottle and sucked his cheeks in a little.

[Received 22:37]  
Shane: Do that again

Ryan knew this was a dangerous game but he replied nonetheless.

[Sent 22:38]  
Ryan: dont know what you mean

[Received 22:39]  
Shane: Yes you do and it was filthy

Another snapchat arrived from Shane. He had a bottle of Corona now, and he slid his mouth down the neck of the bottle slowly, never losing eye contact with the screen. Arousal twisted in the pit of Ryan’s stomach despite the ridiculous thought of Shane doing this in a public bar.

[Sent 22:41]  
Ryan: I’d like to see you do that again

[Sent 22:41]  
Ryan: Not in that bar though

Ryan typed “come over” into the message bar. He tapped his fingers against the edge of his phone screen. This was a terrible idea which would undoubtedly have terrible consequences. He quickly deleted the message and lay down on the sofa, one hand covering his eyes. He wasn’t going to do this.

[Received 22:45]  
Shane: I could do that to you if u want

Ryan’s dick responded to the thought. This was hopeless.

[Received 22:45]  
Shane: You wouldn’t even have to lose the game

Ryan let his hand drift downwards, under his sweatpants to grip his cock and give it a smooth pull.

[Received 22:47]  
Shane: You know im only a block away

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck was the only thought Ryan had while he continue to stroke himself.

[Sent 22:49]  
Ryan: come over

 

 

The minutes before Ryan heard a knock on his apartment door were torturous. His dick ached at the mere thought of Shane on his way here. Thoughts of everything that’d happened in the last fortnight wouldn’t leave his mind’s eye. This was definitely the most stupid thing he’d ever done. Still, the tap on the door still sent a rush through him as he crossed to open it. Shane was leant casually against the wall outside, although his dark eyes and wet lips gave away his desperation. He opened his mouth to speak but Ryan simply grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him inside. Shane wasted no time, clamping his lips to Ryan’s neck and crowding him against the wall. He felt the smaller man grind against him, his dick already hard and Shane knew already he would win this round. Whatever winning was anymore in this fucked up game they were playing. His mind was empty of any sensible thoughts however as he kissed down Ryan’s neck, pressing his lips into the fading bruise from last week. He sucked on it gently, gaining a harsh gasp from Ryan that tickled Shane’s ear. Shane’s hands were slowly working up Ryan’s sides, pushing up his shirt to reveal his stomach. Once it was high enough he dropped to his knees and began kissing his stomach roughly.

“Fuck, Shane,” Ryan sounded breathless as he tipped his head back against the wall.

His hands were gripping Shane’s shoulders as Shane hooked his thumbs underneath Ryan’s sweatpants and pulled them to his ankles. His cock was clearly visible through his boxers now and Shane placed his wet tongue against the head through his underwear, eliciting a groan from Ryan which made Shane flush. Once his boxers were completely soaked through with a mixture of precum and saliva, Ryan pushed Shane’s head away and pushed his boxers down his legs, letting his cock spring free. Almost immediately, Shane placed his lips against the head, looking up at Ryan with glazed eyes, making Ryan’s breathing quicken even further. At that, Shane parted his lips and slid his mouth down Ryan’s cock, squeezing firmly with his lips as he did so. Ryan’s breath hitched in his throat and his hands wandered up Shane’s neck to his scalp. Shane began to bob his head up and down Ryan’s length now, expertly wrapping his tongue around it as he reduced Ryan to a whimpering mess of expletives. Shane wrapped his hands around the base of Ryan’s cock and pushed him deeper into his mouth, hitting the back of his throat. Ryan was moaning loudly now with each move Shane made, his fingers locked in the other man’s hair.

“Shane, I’m gonna-” his voice was cut off by another moan. Shane didn’t move, eyes watering as he swallowed Ryan’s cum hungrily. Ryan’s knees buckled as he came, sliding down the wall until he was sat gasping for breath on the floor, Shane still knelt between his legs. He looked up at Shane, his lips swollen and wet. Ryan reached up and put his hands on the back of Shane’s neck, pulling their faces close.

“Surely you can kiss me now,” he murmured through an absent smile. Shane stared at the man in front of him, so beautiful in a haze of pleasure. Shane felt his face drift closer to Ryan’s, the sunshine like warmth of the man before him drawing him in. He hovered there for a moment, knowing what he wanted to do, how much he wanted from Ryan, that he could never have. The realisation that this was probably all so meaningless to Ryan pierced Shane like an actual dagger in his chest. He jerked away so fast he could’ve given himself whiplash.

“No, I can’t,” he said quickly, sounding angry. He stood up and walked out without another word, leaving Ryan to clean himself up and lick his wounds, wondering what he’d done wrong.

Shane cursed himself as he stood on the curb outside Ryan’s apartment building, waiting for his Uber. Why had he done that? He paced up and down, suddenly feeling a whole lot more sober in the cold air and reevaluating everything he’d done since about ten that night. Seeing Ryan look up at him with those big eyes and warm smile had really hit home how much he liked him. This couldn’t ever happen again.

 

 

Neither Ryan nor Shane could stop thinking about that night all weekend. No part of it was easy to forget. Ryan certainly didn't forget the image of Shane looking up at him with his mouth around his cock but mostly he worried all weekend about Shane. He texted him a few times to ask what was up and never got a response. In the end, he got Jen to text Shane for him and she did get a response so at least he knew Shane was still alive. But the silence worried him, even more so than his sudden departure. That suggested he was more than angry; It was as if Ryan had hurt Shane's feelings somehow but he had no idea what he could've done. Ryan just wished he'd put it all out in the open so they could resolve it but it was never that easy with Shane. And besides anything, Ryan had been a bit offended himself that Shane had just left like that. He beat down the thought his brain supplied that he was just sad that Shane didn't see him as more than a hookup.

 

 

Ryan arrived in work on Monday morning fully prepared to deal with whatever was wrong with Shane. For the sake of their friendship, not his stupid crush, he told himself.

“Morning,” Ryan said as he arrived at his desk to no one in particular but aiming it at Shane. He got a smattering of replies but Shane remained quiet, facing his computer screen.

“How was your weekend?” he said more quickly, specifically addressing Shane now.

“Eh, not bad,” he was quieter than his normal self but not upset necessarily.

“Get up to much?” Ryan pushed the conversation further despite Shane’s unreceptiveness.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Shane said. His tone was cold and when he turned to face Ryan his expression matched. Their usual friendly banter was not at all evident.

“Alright, sorry. I hope it was okay, I guess.” Ryan was taken aback. He hadn’t expected Shane to be this upset with him. He didn’t even know what he’d done wrong. He resigned to get on with his work, quietly glad he so much editing to distract him. Although the fact that Shane was now in all his footage since Unsolved got so big did make it a bit uncomfortable. He decided to talk to Jen at lunch. She already knew the story so might as well help him with it now.

 

 

“And now he won’t even speak to me,” Ryan said, concluding the tale to Jen. He hadn’t left out too many of the gory details and she looked shaken if he was honest. But he was pretty shocked too so it was no surprise.

“You don’t think that after your little-” she gave him a wide-eyed look- “rendezvous on Friday night, that you gave yourself away. Maybe you freaked him out because he could tell that you… you know.”

“Fuck” Ryan spoke softly, staring blankly out the window of the Starbucks they were sat in, “Maybe I did.”

“Just, you said he left in a hurry… afterwards, and that’s when it started, so maybe he’s distancing himself because of that,” Jen played with her now empty cup.

“Oh Jen, I’ve fucked this up really badly. He’s my best friend, I can’t let this happen,” Ryan said, visibly panicked.

“No, you haven’t. Just speak to him, you two can sort it out,” she said, attempting to placate Ryan.

“I can’t speak to him! Then he’ll know for certain and it’ll be even weirder!” he drumming on the table nervously.

“Okay, okay, well maybe just avoid him for a few days, give him space.”

Ryan did take Jen’s advice to heart for the rest of that day and half of the next, not texting him and exchanging on basic office small talk. But by the time Tuesday midday rolled round he knew they needed to film the next Q+A if there was any chance of it being edited by Wednesday. Shane had told him before this silent treatment had started that there was no hot daga this week, but that just gave him an excuse to put filming off later and later.

 

 

Shane had been dreading filming the Q+A (or the introduction to the Hot Daga as he’d taken to calling it to Ryan). By Tuesday though, he knew it could not be put off and spent the whole day tense, waiting for Ryan to approach him to go to set. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to see Ryan - he missed him in fact. But he knew that their easy banter, which they would just naturally slip back into once the cameras rolled, would only make him feel even worse about the whole situation. Because the crux of it was, these stupid fucking feelings had soured all the best bits of Ryan, because now he couldn’t enjoy them without feeling guilty that he was jeopardising them. His stomach dropped as he saw Ryan coming towards his desk.

“Hi, Shane, uh, we probably need to go film the Q+A, have you got questions ready?” Ryan pursed his lips looking tentatively at Shane as he spoke.

“Yeah, I’ve- I’ve got some ready.” Shane replied getting up from his desk.

They were silent the rest of the way.

 

 

It was almost painful how easily they turned it on for the cameras. Like a guilty little treat of being their usual selves. Shane teased Ryan mercilessly for the ridiculous orb theory when it came up again and Ryan shot back with equal fervour. They both laughed harder than they had all weekend and honestly, it was them. It was how it was supposed to be. Once filming was over, and Shane had disappointed its millions of fans by saying the Hot Daga would not return until next week however, the spell was broken. The crew packed the cameras away but neither Ryan or Shane moved. They just sat, staring silently at the table in front of them, neither wanted to leave this moment of normality to return to the tension that awaited at their desks. They were still sat there when the crew finally left and the set door swung closed. No one questioned why they hadn’t moved. It was probably common knowledge amongst the office now that something was going on between them but neither had the space in their head to think about office rumours. Shane smacked his lips together loudly and obnoxiously. Ryan turned to him, laughing quietly and shaking his head. When Shane made eye contact, he began laughing too. Something about the tension of the situation made the laughter all the more infectious and soon they were uncontrollably giggling at nothing in particular but really at the ridiculous of them both. The laughing died down but they still didn’t speak. They just stared at each other. Without really realising they drifted closer to each other. Shane lips his lips ever so slightly and Ryan followed the movement with his eyes. Suddenly, Shane turned away, jerking away from Ryan and putting his head in his hands, leant on the desk in front of them.

“I can’t, Ry,” he said, still looking at the table.

“I know, look, Shane, I-” Ryan looked nervously at his friend, but Shane cut him off.

“I’m sorry Ryan, I really am. When this whole thing started I meant it as a joke but I think it’s actually just made me realise that maybe I do have feelings for you that are something more than friendship.” he rushed on, refusing to look up meaning he missed the moment Ryan’s face turned from worry to a soft smile, “And the last thing I want is for this to get in the way of our friendship but I feel guilty having fun with you when you don’t know how it is for me, and I definitely feel guilty playing this stupid game I started and I’m just so sorry and I want us to go back to normal but I can’t do that without saying this to you first and-”

He stopped as Ryan placed a hand on his shoulders, so he sat up and looked at Ryan for the first time since he started talking. The other man was grinning at him.

“You’re a fucking moron, Shane,” Ryan said with all the affection he could fit into such a phrase.

“Hey!” Shane looked confused but happy. He knew just from the smile on Ryan’s face that whatever he was about to say couldn’t be friendship-ruining and that was good enough for him.

But Ryan didn’t say anything, he reached up behind Shane’s neck, placing his hand their and firmly guided his face towards his. He leant forwards himself and pressed a firm kiss on Shane’s lips. Shane immediately kissed back, his hands moving to the side of Ryan’s head. It wasn’t hesitant at all and although it wasn’t intense and fiery and desperate like the past few days, Ryan hoped it said “me too”. But that was certainly what he’d say when it ended.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still new at this so comments are really appreciated!
> 
> Follow me on [Tumblr](www.sunshinebergara.tumblr.com)


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